I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Come share oat with me in your robe
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
