Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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