His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
