id be glad to
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I am one with the molecules
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
