The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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