Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
