super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I need mimosas to revive my soul
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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