I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
