Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
