guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
