only if we run a train.
done.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
