You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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