he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
