Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize
