so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
