I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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