I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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