i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
