you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
