I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
