Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
