You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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