FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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