girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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