Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
