I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
