i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I have fence marks all over my body
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
