My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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