She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
