Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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