Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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