Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
