Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
