one two three fourrrrnication!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
