Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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