i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
