Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
