ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
