honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
