i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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