I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
