Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
