Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
