if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
