Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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