Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
