exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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