ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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