Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
