did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
