just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
