please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
